travel – Brooke Lyn Landon

What It’s Like Living in Vietnam During a Global Pandemic

Imagine you heard lightning strike outside your house, and it was so loud, and so close, that you got scared. Yet, you were so cozy under your covers in the comfort of your home, that you felt safe from harm and were able to drift back to sleep. That’s kind of how it feels living in Vietnam during a global pandemic.

I’ll be honest, sometimes the people here do things that make me question their sanity, intelligence, and morals, but when it comes to addressing and taking action during a crisis, Vietnam doesn’t fuck around. In fact, they are the leading example of how to handle a pandemic thus far. Even though if the pandemic escalated here, their health infrastructure would collapse harder than I do on my bed after a day teaching toddlers, this country is underrated. They are some of the most resourceful people I have ever met, and their ability to unite during times of need is admirable. Coming together is what you’d expect would happen in times like these, but when you observe other parts of the world, it’s not as common as you’d hope.

When people ask where I’m from on dating apps, I respond with a poop emoji followed by the American flag. I believe that’s a justified response considering the US is a literal burning mass of shit at the moment. Although I think it went from burning to denigrated at this point. Vietnam in comparison to America looks like Bruce Lee standing next to Lindsey Lohan during her drug binge. (Although I know Bruce Lee is not Vietnamese, and Donald Trump is a bigger laughingstock than Lindsey Lohan ever was, let’s continue.) Yet, barely anyone is talking about how superior Vietnam is…Sounds familiar *cough* Vietnam War.

People listen here, and the leaders take action swiftly and logically. What a concept! Many people think, “As a communist country, of course they’d listen! They’d die or be put in jail otherwise!” That’s not the case. First of all, I listen because I’d rather not be fined or yelled at in a language where I only know how to count to three, and say beer. Most importantly, we’re not a bunch of entitled people who are in denial about the severity of what’s going on. That’s not to say everyone else is entitled or in denial, but too many are.

I’m grateful every day to be living in this country. I feel safe, and life continues to move on as it did before, minus tourism obviously. I feel so much sympathy for so many other countries, but not as much empathy as I usually do in most situations. That is because I only was worried for my health for a week, and to be in fear every day is unfathomable. I hope that the rest of the world follows suit. If you’re reading this, pretend you’re living in a communist country and put on your damn mask as though you’d be fined up the ass otherwise.

Dear James Pt. 2

125EA89C-93D7-41F2-A740-9CF987A6A577 Dear James,

It’s been about a month. I thought I’d be over you leaving by now. Not completely, obviously, but I didn’t think the thought of you would still bring tears to my eyes. I listened to a song about death on the back of a motorbike in the rain. My tears blended perfectly into the world you’re no longer a part of. Last week my phone ran out of storage. I went to make some more room and saw our WhatsApp conversation was taking up some of the most space. I shouldn’t have clicked on our conversation. I had to leave my friends to cry like a little bitch. You probably would have made fun of me and then followed up with wise words to make me feel better like you used to.

I’m afraid, James. Your death made me face that I too could leave before my time. Before my dreams and desires come to fruition. Before I manifest the goals that I feel are so close, yet so far. It taught me a lot though. Be so at peace with what I’ve created, that if I joined you today, wherever the fuck you are, I’d be happy with what I’ve done. To be fair, I am happy with what I’ve done, but feel like there’s so much more I need to do. I wanted some of those moments to be with you.

I’m reminded by you constantly. This time last year, we were hanging out every day together. It’s rainy season. Remember how we got stuck in that down pour in the middle of nowhere and we had to pull over in some shed until it passed? Where was that? Phong Nha? Ninh Binh? You would know, but I don’t think I ever will.

I’ve seen a stupid amount of things on Facebook I’ve wanted to share with you. Should I send them anyways? Would you know I’m sending them? Do you know I’m writing this now? A sign would be pretty dope. You used to make fun of me for that kind of “slang”. Did you know that my catchphrase is “tragic” and all my friends know it? They don’t all know it’s because of you.

I see the tchotchke you gave me every day. It hasn’t left my bedside table since I got it. That was so selfless of you. I wish I told you how much that meant to me. I have a gift I was planning to give you next time you visited. What should I do with it now?

Now that you’re gone, I’m stuck with a lot of questions that can’t be answered. I’m forced to think more about the meaning of this thing called life, and to be honest, I don’t know what to make of it anymore. Life was better with you in it. I guess that’s the goal. To leave life making the world better having been a part of it. Rest in Paradise, James.

Dear James

BC4D3798-4E67-4935-B757-8A304FF057F7 Here I am, crying in a classroom closet while my students eat snack. Meanwhile, doing all I can to not snack myself into a coma to cope with the pain of knowing you’re gone. What about your plans to see me in Vietnam and travel more of the world together? What about your goals you talked to me about last week? 10 days ago to be exact. Not to be a creeper or anything, but I did just look back at our message history. Sorry, I swear I genuinely forgot to respond to your last message. The guilt is eating away at me. I know you’re not mad at me for that though, and I’m not mad at you for leaving too soon either.

How could I be mad at you? You’ve brought so much joy into my life. I have never met anyone else who I had such fluid, fun, banter with. We’ve shared so many unforgettable adventures. It sucks that we won’t make more together or reminisce about them on the phone again. Who’s going to make fun of me all the time now? Actually, I’m sure other people will, but never like you. No one was like you.

I am mad though. I’m mad I forgot to respond. I’m mad I didn’t check in more. I’m mad that such a good person had only a short time to spread their light. I am mad that your Go Pro camera is loaded with photos and videos of us that I’ll never be able to see and cherish.

So many people cherished you, James. Your energy lit up the room, even if you were passed out on a bean bag chair in the corner after a long day of travels. Some of the most fond memories that I’ve ever had in my life were with you by my side. I think you knew that, but I wish I told you.

Now I’ll never figure out the spaghetti song we made up when we were drunk in Hoi An. I was counting on you to remind me and make me laugh like you always do… or did. Fuck James, this just doesn’t seem real or right.

Do you remember watching the lightning in Sapa? That was a magical night. Remember that time we almost died in Ninh Binh? We talked about it last month, so of course you do. That is, if you can hear me now… What about the first day we met? I would lose my debit card a million times if I knew it would result in me needing to beg strangers for money and miraculously meet someone as incredible as you again.

I can get on with people pretty easily, but you took me by surprise. It was like I knew you my whole life. You’re like a brother to me. Forever my soul family.

You’re too good of a dude to go so soon.

Rest in paradise James Maguire 21.11.1996 – 15.7.2020

The Coronavirus in Southeast Asia

4CE3BA23-05EC-492B-8668-7322395E0EB9 (Update: I was ignorant at the time)

If you haven’t heard about the Coronavirus, you might as well stop reading because I don’t have time to lift up the gigantic rock that you’ve been living under. The Coronavirus has been Fox News’s latest obsession. I go back and forth whether I should be scrubbing my hands as fiercely and frequently as mom constantly tells me, or press an elevator button before eating a sandwich without thinking twice. That said, regardless of whether or not there will be a large outbreak in SE Asia at some point, the lives around me now are being directly effected by the Coronavirus anyways.

Most of my friends are expats who teach English in Vietnam. Tet, the Lunar New Year, was a 10 day celebration where school was out and they were not paid. Not even a week later and every school in Vietnam shut down, and has been for the past two weeks to prevent an outbreak. That’s nearly a month of no pay for 90% of the expats living in Vietnam, and this will likely continue. My friend, who pinches pennies like the lead in “2 Broke Girls”, has been as emotional as one of the women in “The Real Housewives” after they try to make amends with someone over dinner, and ends with broken wine glasses on the floor.

Expats are not the only ones hurting. The government has been shutting down hundreds of local businesses. Thousands of people are losing money and opportunities. The police are even on the hunt for everyone in the country from China, and regardless of how long they’ve been here, they put them in the back of their trucks like animals and quarantine them for 14 days. A girl from China has been in Vietnam for months, and this week she’s been hiding out like Ann Frank because they’re looking for her. The song that instantly comes to mind is “This shit is bananas b a n a n a s!”

They’ve built several hospitals throughout Vietnam in preparation for this outbreak. I think that’s a wonderful way to be proactive. Yet, when it comes to other things they’re doing such as caging up humans like animals against their will just because of their race, and having no form of compensation for thousands of people, I’m like… Yo bro, can you chill?

WAIT. I understand with such little notice, only so much can be done. I get that first and foremost this must be contained rather than simply having what we need for when it comes. I do appreciate their thoroughness and care to contain the Coronavirus, but could their be another way to move through this without creating such detriment and chaos to the entire country? Keep in mind we have just about as many ill here as we do with other countries like Germany and the US.

I’m very open to the fact that I might be so ignorant about this. They’re very well could be people reading this and thinking “This bitch is an ignorant millennial that thinks things will be solved with positive vibes and some hand sanitizer.” I’m just speaking my mind based off of my experiences and conversations that have led me to this point writing you all now. All of which has me question “Is there another way?” I don’t think hand sanitizer and positive vibes are going to be enough to solve this, but I hope something does quickly so they find a way to get this country up and running again.

I’m in Limbo

CF605C7B-995B-424A-918A-476260790158 Every store in The Old Quarter is shut down. The usually chaotic and loud streets of Hanoi, are now filled with an eerie silence, with the occasional sounds of a puttering engine from a motorbike passing by. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think an apocalypse was about to take place.

It’s Tet, the Lunar New Year. That means, for 10 days, Vietnam will be as lively as the dude who works behind the bar I go to, who has a permanent resting bitch face, and moves at the pace of my friend before her morning coffee. This means I have 10 days with nowhere to go, no place to workout, and 10 days without my favorite vegan chickpea sandwich.

Right now, I have as much stability as a girl in heels standing on one leg, trying to take off a pair on Spanx, blindfolded. You’re welcome for the imagery I just created in your mind. I’m in between jobs, and have not a single obligation. I have no idea what is to come after Tet. As for now, it’s a waiting game.

Normally, this would be the devils playground. My twisted mind typically lives for these moments of uncertainty and instability. Then it can fuck with me, and sit back and relax as it enjoys the shit show called my anxiety ridden life. Not this time, motherfucker.

I’m not sure what has changed. I know what triggers me and how I tend to handle certain situations, but now things are different. I have more faith. Not only faith that the world has my back, but that I also have my back.

I’m genuinely enjoying this time of nothingness, indulging in more snacks than I want to admit, and being a hoe because there’s nowhere to go, nothing to do, and I have a dating App. I’m not worried about what will happen because I’m here in the moment, and I know everything will work out. I’m excited about what’s to come if anything.

What. The. Fuck. You don’t understand how weird it is that I have nothing to do, no future plans, all of this uncertainty, and I’m chillin’ like a villain. I do however feel a bit lame for actually writing chillin’ like a villain. Like, who says that these days? This chilled out bitch, that’s who.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so okay not knowing what’s going to happen. It’s because the more I go through life, the more I trust the unfolding of it. When I experience hardships, I grow and learn. When I succeed, I have gratitude. There’s never a moment in life where I’m not moving forward. I may feel like I’m in limbo during Tet, but my mindset shows me that I’m still moving up.

Why You Shouldn’t Tell Someone Who Uses Dating Apps To Meet People Organically Instead

I couldn’t even count the amount of times I’ve heard people talk shit about dating apps, or try to tell someone why they should meet people “organically” instead. I’m no saint, I’ve called Tinder trash multiple times. Still, I’d never tell someone not to take a chance and try it, nor should you.

I went to 10 National Parks during an epic road trip with a guy I met through Bumble. Obviously that trip wasn’t on our first meet up, but if it was, you’d have my permission to heavily judge my sanity. I connected with another person from that app while in Japan, and we’ve talked almost every day for the past several months. I’m starting a business with someone else I met on Tinder. No joke. I’m also currently looking forward to a new date I have tomorrow because he’s been playing his cards right. We even transitioned from the dating app over to WhatsApp, which for those who don’t know, that means shits about to get real. Not to mention my best friend met her boyfriend of 5 years from a dating app.

Now, I’m not saying it’s all rainbows and butterflies. I’ve been utterly underwhelmed. I have spent many hours having small talk that lead to no meetups and would have preferred hearing nails against a chalkboard over wasting my time entertaining them. I’ve also been borderline cat fished considering his pictures were not at all a representation of what he looked like. If he didn’t tell me what he was wearing and waved when he saw me, I would have just assumed he was a random, unfortunate, and unattractive human. Damn, that’s harsh, but I would have kept that to myself if I didn’t feel deceived, so that’s my excuse for sounding like a heartless bitch.

Regardless, they’ve all taught me something. It doesn’t matter if it turns into a meaningful friendship, a romantic relationship, or brief encounter. They’ve all made me more clear of the kind of man I’m looking for, and the woman I have to be to match that.

Yes, meeting people organically is great, but why not open up our options to new and exciting experiences? There are plenty of fish in the sea, so why not put more fishing nets in there? There’s nothing to lose if it’s either a good time, or lessons learned. Not to mention, those nets will reach places a fishing rod can’t, which is to say there are some people who you wouldn’t meet otherwise. Maybe one does yoga, but the other goes to a boxing studio, and they have no mutual friends, etc. Dating apps might not seem “organic” but in the world we’re living in, what really is anymore?

I’ve heard plenty of comments made about my usage of dating apps.

“You’re going on another date?!”

Yes Susan, while you’re watching The Notebook alone for the one thousandth time, sobbing into your giant carton of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, I’ll be having a new experience. Ideally free food or drinks too. If you don’t want to use an app or don’t have the time, do you boo, but don’t go around shaming people for having the courage to put themselves out there.

I’m here to tell you that you deserve to make connections to help you grow and have fun. I’m not saying a dating app is the only way for that to happen, but it is one way. That one way shouldn’t make you feel shameful or less than in any way. If anything, I feel like a badass boss babe for showing up and making moves to have new adventures and connections.

If someone wants to use a dating app, let them do their thing without your two cents saying another way is the “right way”. If you’ve been wanting to use one but need that extra nudge to get the ball rolling, take this as a sign and enjoy the ride! The journey that is… not the kind of ride often associated with Tinder meetups. I’ll shut up now.

What’s Making My Life Great But My Heart Heavy

Have you ever thought to yourself something along the lines of “Yeah, I’ve got legitimate reasons to feel mildly terrible, but in the grand scheme of things, life is fucking fabulous, so stop being a little bitch.” Just me? In that case, maybe I should have kept seeing my therapist oversees. I have a feeling what I’m saying is at least resonating with some of you though.

Why is it that life can be great, but you still feel as though you were ghosted by your crush while having the guilt of eating an entire tub of Ben & Jerry’s, even if that didn’t actually happen? Well, currently I have to spend a stupid amount of money to see a doctor, and have been coughing my lungs out like a chain smoker with asthma just attempted to run a marathon. I’m also trying to people please, which I know I shouldn’t even be doing in the first place, and seem to be failing miserably. This past week, I went on a trip and had as much nutritional value as Cookie Monster does. My caloric intake in one meal was probably more than a football quarterback has in an entire day. My body is expanding accordingly. Did I mention I can’t sleep for shit? That said, the only reason I feel any sort of negativity is me, myself, and I.

Currently, I spend my time traveling the world, seeing some of the most beautiful places. I have such a great community and amazing friends. I have plenty of free time to work on projects I’m passionate about. I love where I live. I’m supporting myself financially. Need I go on? So the fact that my emotions are anything but positive is entirely on me and because of what I’m giving my focus and attention to. Even if all hell seemed to be breaking loose, the fact that we have the ability to grow and become stronger from hardships, and have food on the table or shoes on our feet, we can still feel good by giving our attention and gratitude towards those things.

Gratitude, consistency, and perseverance, builds positive momentum, and allows us to move through times like these more effortlessly. The more I find appreciation, the more my life will be a reflection of that. Some may look at this as some woo woo hippy dippy shit, but I’m not talking out my ass. It’s scientifically proven that gratitude changes our brain chemistry. (Let’s pretend I added a link here to some studies so I seem more credible. You can google that on your own time. I’ve got suitcases to bring home and doctors to see.)

What I’m trying to get at is our feelings are, and always will be, a result of how we choose to look at life. In each situation, there is good that can come from it. In each moment, there is something worth appreciating. In each second, we get to create our lives and how we experience our time on earth. So now, I’m going to appreciate any free time at the doctors office to learn my Body Pump routine, and be grateful for being in this cab ride, taking me home, so I am able to write. Comment ⬇️ and tell me what you will be grateful for right now!

What 2019 Has Made Me

As a blogger, how could I pass up the opportunity to do some basic bitch 2019 recap/ new year shit. So, let’s get into it, and forget about the fact that technically there should be at least three sentences per paragraph.

This past year I shed my fair share of tears. I was sick and hospitalized in a developing country alone, and to top it all off, I broke my phone and lost my debit card that same week. (Click this links that follow to read my blogs about what I learned from getting a virus in a developing country etc.) I also went on the bus ride from hell, nearly died, and I’ve relapsed. I had times where I felt insecure, anxious af, and uncertain, but I wouldn’t change a thing. Link: I’m about to have a midlife crisis

Last year I left everyone and everything I knew behind and went to backpack the world with no plans or idea of what would come. That was just the start of discovering who I’ve become since solo traveling the world. I thought differently on how I feel about my body since traveling too, and now I’ll stop with the links, but had to throw that last one in there because it was one of my most popular blog posts in 2019.

In 2019 I surrendered and let the world take me through this journey called life, and proved that I have what it takes to do whatever I want with it. With that came some of the most incredible friendships and connections, countless memories that will last a lifetime, and the best year of my fucking life. From leaps of faith, to trusting myself, listening to my gut, and giving less shits, how the fuck would life not take me to and through magical places and experiences?

No matter what 2020 brings, It’ll be even better than my best year ever because I refuse to be the victim. I refuse to go through hardships without coming out the other end a better person than I was before. 2019 has made me a more powerful creator of my life, and I’ll accept nothing less in 2020. I’m not going to stop being my badass self, so best believe it will only go up from here.

I hope 2020 gives you opportunities to take big risk, and you have the cojones to do it. I hope you have emotional experiences that cause you to reflect and become wiser and stronger. I hope that you see your power and start to harness it more than you ever have. Embrace discomfort. Befriend fear and introduce it to trust. Step into your power and go have your best year yet.

When Tinder Meets Serendipity

I was on my way to Bites and Veggies. I wasn’t nervous, but I was curious about the outcome of our date as I heard the heels of my boots hit the pavement. When I saw him, I was relieved that he looked better in person, and he wasn’t an 80 year old cat lady trying to catfish me. My initial thoughts after our first minute together was “Alright, he seems chill, so this should be fine.”

Sometimes, people will come into your life just when you need them most. Sometimes what you think will be a dick appointment will turn into a friendship that will last for years to come. Or, you’ll meet someone who will have the perfect words to say to you during a difficult time of your life. Sometimes, it happens from the most unlikely circumstances. Sometimes, it’s Tinder.

I was swiping through Tinder, which I barely use because I think Tinder is trash compared to Bumble, but that’s besides the point. Something caught my eye. It was Gary V, an entrepreneur and idol of mine. So, I paused to see who’s profile it was. I figured if he’s in a picture with Gary, he can’t be all that bad. I swiped right, and it was a match.

He didn’t seem particularly funny or my type. However, something made me curious about him, even though he sent unsolicited dick pics way too soon. Maybe it was his entrepreneurial spirit, or his spirituality. Regardless, I felt like taking a chance against my friends will.

He wanted to come straight to my apartment to drop his bag off, but first I had to make sure I didn’t get serial killer vibes. So instead, we agreed to get lunch. From our brief online interaction, he was confident, and at least normal enough to have a decent conversation. Yet, I still new better than to be totally sure about that.

I never thought three days after we met, we’d be lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, talking about how we can’t believe our tinder meetup turned into a deep and meaningful friendship. Within the few weeks he’s been traveling through Vietnam, we each went through some really challenging times in both of our personal lives. It truly feels like the universe orchestrated this encounter to give us the support and bond we needed. Not only to help us, but reward us as well.

From heartbreaks to perceived failures, we opened up about everything. We showed our vulnerability and authenticity. I talked about my insecurities and he gave me strength and solutions. He shared his hardships and I gave him support and comfort.

This is not a situation where I picture him putting a ring on it and a white picket fence in our future. He’s family now… and no, I’m not into incest. Although If I’m being totally honest, if I had a couple drinks in me, he wouldn’t look like family for long.

People come into our lives for a reason whether we see it or not. Sometimes it’s more obvious and meaningful than others. The more we are aware of this, and open ourselves up to different possibilities and connections, the more we can receive and learn from each other.

Currently, he’s visiting one last time before he heads back home to the other side of the world. Some things are meant to be short and sweet, but this won’t be a goodbye. It’s a see you later.

I Will Never Try Again

I remember constantly feeling like the chick in that viral meme, looking confused, with complex calculations on a blackboard behind her. I was always trying to figure out what I should do and what steps to take next. On the outside I’m sure I held it relatively together, but inside I was shabby chic without the chic.

When I started solo backpacking the world, I set out with absolutely no timeline or itinerary. Even the thought of trying to plan out all the logistics had me more stressed than Jim Carey in Liar Liar. So, I just showed up everyday to see where the world wanted to take me.

I stopped trying and started being. My being didn’t always know what I was doing, or even where I’d sleep the next night, but life always worked itself out. Heck, I ended up staying in a strangers empty apartment so I could have a free place to stay in Japan. It made for a great adventure and story, but I am now realizing I’m causing my mom some serious emotional distress because she likely has just read about this questionable life choice I made. But hey, I’ve made it this far without really trying, so I must be doing something right.

From the start of my travels, life has taken me to places I never in a million thought I’d be. I never could have planned or tried to make it happen myself. Opportunities presented themselves to me effortlessly. I used my gut instead of my logic and now I’m getting paid to travel the world. Like breadcrumbs leading to a gingerbread house, I’ve followed the path life made for me instead of trying to make a path, and then starving because I had no bread to eat. I’ve made better metaphors, but you get the point.

I’ll never try to get to a gingerbread house though. Why? Because as cliche as this sounds, it’s about the journey, not the destination. That’s because life is one big never ending journey. When you try to find the gingerbread house through forced effort, that evil bitch of a witch that lives in the gingerbread house will stop you in your tracks, and point you in a different direction.

Now don’t get me wrong, some things you certainly need to try to do. Like to get good grades, you need to try, and you need to use your logic. I tried and used my logic to cheat as often as possible, but I made it to the high honor roll every semester, so no regrets. Nonetheless, I had to try to find the way to beat the system. As for Josh Rosenberg, the only person who was always ahead of me on the honor roll, he actually tried through hard work to get those grades. What this post is about isn’t that kind of trying though.

I guess what I’m talking about is getting into the flow of life and trusting it. It comes down to using your gut instead of logic. It’s being instead of trying. It’s allowing instead of forcing.

I’m sure I’ll try again at some point. As much as I don’t want to, it’s only natural to have some challenges that throw you off your game, and make you feel like you need to control your life. That said, I will never try again so long as I can help it.