What 2019 Has Made Me

66905D71-AF4A-43F7-B225-B1708C885CB4.jpegAs a blogger, how could I pass up the opportunity to do some basic bitch 2019 recap/ new year shit. So, let’s get into it, and forget about the fact that technically there should be at least three sentences per paragraph.

This past year I shed my fair share of tears. I was sick and hospitalized in a developing country alone, and to top it all off, I broke my phone and lost my debit card that same week. (Click this links that follow to read my blogs about what I learned from getting a virus in a developing country etc.) I also went on the bus ride from hell, nearly died, and I’ve relapsed. I had times where I felt insecure, anxious af, and uncertain, but I wouldn’t change a thing. Link: I’m about to have a midlife crisis 

Last year I left everyone and everything I knew behind and went to backpack the world with no plans or idea of what would come. That was just the start of discovering who I’ve become since solo traveling the world. I thought differently on how I feel about my body since traveling too, and now I’ll stop with the links, but had to throw that last one in there because it was one of my most popular blog posts in 2019.

In 2019 I surrendered and let the world take me through this journey called life, and proved that I have what it takes to do whatever I want with it. With that came some of the most incredible friendships and connections, countless memories that will last a lifetime, and the best year of my fucking life. From leaps of faith, to trusting myself, listening to my gut, and giving less shits, how the fuck would life not take me to and through magical places and experiences?

No matter what 2020 brings, It’ll be even better than my best year ever because I refuse to be the victim. I refuse to go through hardships without coming out the other end a better person than I was before. 2019 has made me a more powerful creator of my life, and I’ll accept nothing less in 2020. I’m not going to stop being my badass self, so best believe it will only go up from here.

I hope 2020 gives you opportunities to take big risk, and you have the cojones to do it. I hope you have emotional experiences that cause you to reflect and become wiser and stronger. I hope that you see your power and start to harness it more than you ever have. Embrace discomfort. Befriend fear and introduce it to trust. Step into your power and go have your best year yet.

How New Year’s Eve Alone Made Me Realize My Wish For You In 2019 And Beyond 

photo-1525373612132-b3e820b87ceaMy friend, who is as unreliable as a soaking wet paper bag, left me to fend for myself NYE. I was only given the news a few hours before we were supposed to meet up… yet again. 

I know it’s how she is, and my other friends think I’m nuts for putting up with it, but I secretly don’t mind plans being cancelled. It’s an excuse to hide away in my humble abode like Rapunzel Before she realized it was kind of fucked up that she was stuck in there. It being NYE made it a harder pill to swallow, but I set out to make the best of if. That I did. 

I adorned my quaint studio with flowers and candles. I thought about my bright future, and how this is just the beginning of a journey where I know the best has yet to come. When the clock struck 12:00 eastern standard time, (Lord knows if I have it my way I’m going to be asleep before 12:00PM) I was meditating on my bed. When my eyes opened to see if 2019 had come, I was welcomed with a text from my mother wishing me the best for the year to come. 23 minutes later, here I am writing.  Doing what I’m passionate about, honing my skills, expressing myself openly and creatively. 

The goal in a day like this is often to do something memorable enough to remember the following year. I’m not going to lie, it was a bit of a wish of mine, and hearing my neighbors roar like someone won the most epic game of Jenga doesn’t help. Will this day go down in my history book as one to reminisce? Negative. However, the better question is, will this day be considered one that nourished my soul? That it will. 

The more we nourish our souls, the more we will have positive and memorable experiences to put in our history books. Often times the best moments are serendipitous anyways. Plus, the objective is to be in the moment, and content with what is. It’s not about trying to tally instagram worthy events. 

This year, I wish for you and myself, peace with what is. I wish us acceptance of every situation handed to us, or thrown in our way. I wish us a love for life, the people we’re surrounded by, and most importantly, a love for ourselves. 

How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolution

photo-1484981184820-2e84ea0af397Have you ever made a resolution, perhaps to eat better, and the next thing you know you’re 5 fists deep in a bag of cookies made of ingredients you can hardly pronounce? I know I can’t be the only one. 

What people love to do is wait for all of their shortcomings to miraculously improve on the start of the new year. “Now that my muffin top is thicker than my skull, I’ll start to eat right, exercise 5 times a week, stop drinking alcohol and caffeine, and take vitamins once the new year begins…” and so forth. This is the equivalent of signing up for a marathon, and preparing by watching the Olympics on television, while petting one of 5 cats and eating ranch Doritos. 

I’ve made a few crazy resolutions that I’ve managed to uphold, but more often than not, those resolutions are not sustainable. It’s great to want to be healthier or improve your being in one way or another, but to make it last, it’s helpful to have a SMART goal. 

Specific -Clear concise goal

Measurable -The ability to track your progress 

Attainable – Set challenging yet achievable goals 

Relevant – Goals relevant to your life plan 

Time based – Goal has a target finish time attached

My plan for the new year is to get off of my medication. For those who don’t know, I take medication for depression and anxiety, and have for years. I’m ready to use other modes of coping and healing, but I’m not about to go cold turkey and cross my fingers. I’m not petting animals and eating chips to prepare. I’m setting smart goals and working my way towards that goal. 

I will begin by creating better gut health. It has been scientifically proven that your gut health is directly correlated with your brain health. I have smart goals set, so that in a few weeks time, my gut health will improve and I can begin to decrease my dosage. After that, I will experiment with essential oils, and other ways to calm my body and mind as I continue to decrease. 

A New Year resolution is not a sprint. It’s a marathon, and you can cross the finish line with a smart goal and a smile. What’s yours?