When I was a kid, I was the “problem child”. My parents had my sister and thought “What a wonderful experience. Let’s have another.” Then they had me and said… “So, what’s the return policy?” After I had my Emo phase. I painted my nails black, and wore only black clothes, with zippers everywhere. I’m pretty sure that’s when saying the word cringe became a thing, and I don’t think that was a coincidence. Then, I had my Californian, yogi, vegan stage, and you know I’m not vegan anymore because otherwise that would have been the first thing I said. Lastly, as of November, I entered a new phase. I fucked everybody. It was my hoe phase.
However, today is the day a new phase begins. I had an epiphany while talking about relationships with my friend this evening. In an instant, I was inspired to change my ho-ish tendencies. Not because I thought what I was doing was wrong or no longer enjoyable, but because I’ve had my fun, and I am ready to have fun in new ways. I’ve had so many great experiences, met incredible people, and shared a lot of special, intimate moments over the past several months. I’ve learned a lot, and even made friends for life. Yes, it is true that changing my ways will mean those types of experiences and connections will occur less, but I’ll tell you what benefits I think will come with this change.
By making this shift, I will have the ability to put more energy and focus on my passions and hobbies. The newfound energy that I put towards projects and people, will allow me to experience new opportunities, ideas, and feelings. It will open me up in ways I wouldn’t have been able to before. The “What did he mean by that?” “If I ignore him long enough, will he get the hint?“ “What kind of psychopath tells me not to get attached, and the same night says he’s “Catching feelings”?” “Jesus Christ, another phone call? Is he going to ask me to come over and wipe his ass next?” “I think I’ve been friend zoned…. If you need me, I’ll be in the kitchen clearing out the fridge with my face.” moments will be much less frequent.
Overall, the good has certainly outweighed the bad. I wouldn’t be surprised if I miss this phase. I’m also concerned doing this could cause feelings of loneliness and have me craving for the kind of attention I’ve been used to getting.
Yet, whether change feels good or bad, it moves us forward. It helps us learn, grow, and create new momentum to help us evolve. Success comes from moving out of comfort zones, regardless of how we feel about it or what happens at first.
I would never want to take back anything that’s happened. The epiphany for change didn’t come about due to a negative experience. I just know it’s time to move on so I can level up and create more for myself. All I can do is move forward with confidence as I begin this new chapter, titled Glow Up Phase. Time to go from hoe to glow.
What’s your next phase?
Brooke Lyn Landon 