freedom – Brooke Lyn Landon

It Doesn’t Matter Where You Are

I’m mid temple tour in Chiang Mai, Thailand. I’m surrounded by some of the most stunning and sacred temples in Northern Thailand, but the only place I want to be is back in Indonesia. I asked myself why I’m not stimulated by such beauty and found some answers shortly after observing my surroundings.

When I look to my left I see an elderly Asian couple from my group. They take an absurd amount of selfies, but who am I to judge. To my right is a squad of Spanish teenagers that look like they all went way too hard the night before. Behind me stands a couple who speak as though they only know how to talk about Voldemort, so they say nothing at all.

If I was with any of the people I befriended in Indonesia, I’d be laughing my ass off right now. Even if I was merely in the vicinity of them, I’d feel joy. So it’s not about where I am, it’s who I’m with.

We are co-creators. Life is meant to be shared. I used to cringe when I heard that saying because it reminded me about how I’m single as a dollar bill over here, but you don’t have to shag to share an incredible bond and experience.

Wait, I know what you’re thinking. What about being alone? Shouldn’t you be happy anywhere so long as you love yourself? Yep, my thoughts exactly. Maybe I still have a ways to go. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been very happy with who I am and being on my own this trip. I went to the night market alone last night and enjoyed my time there.

Could it be that witnessing others sharing experiences has me aware of the power and beauty of co-creation, and the void of not having that now is more apparent? Perhaps the amplification of my independence and freedom scares me. Maybe it saddens me because I’d rather have someone to depend on and be free with.

It could be so many things, but one thing’s for sure. I trust that life will unfold beautifully and this is just a micro ebb in the flow of my travels. I’ve been in Chiang Mai for a little over 24 hours, so I’ve got to cut myself some slack for not having made a connection I’m really pumped about. Time to see what magic life brings me next.

When Your Well Has Run Dry

pexels-photo-874730 Imagine a bird in the middle of the Masada desert, who can’t fly for shit. No water in sight. The well has run dry. What now?

Sometimes we’re that bird. We get stuck in a rut, and because of fears and insecurities, we stare at an empty well as our mouths turn to sand paper and our words turn to sawdust.

We fixate on the well that has run dry, instead of flying to a new one. We trap ourselves in the constructs of our limiting beliefs, and we don’t even try to fly.

Finally, we get the courage to fly, only to end up at another dry well. “God damnit, climate change.” We blame the outside world because we are blinded by our own patterns of self sabotage.

The reality is, we’re as free as a bird. A bird who knows it can soar beyond the mountains that stand between the dry desert and the crystal water. A bird who trusts in its ability to fly from the nest and into an environment where there’s an innate knowing they will thrive. A bird who sees every well as a beautiful detour rather than a desolate destination.

A well that has run dry is not proof that we’re not good enough, or that we’re out of luck. It’s a sign to move our wings and our point of focus.

3 Steps to Take a Leap of Faith

denny-luan-125448 There are times in our lives when we take a leap of faith and feel it all. Fear, anxiety, excitement, uncertainty, indecision, and joy rise simultaneously like the bubbles that cultivate while you’re pouring a glass of champaign. One of those times in my life is now. Taking leaps of faith is nothing new to me. I know these feelings lead to what I want. It’s winning or learning. I’ll take either one over being stagnant and complacent. So, what can we do to help us take that leap of faith?

1. Trust your internal compass

Before you roll your eyes and think this is just another generic yogi/preachy/airy-fairy post, read on. Using your logic is a great way to get through certain areas of your life. However, when you’re taking a leap of faith, you need to tap into your internal compass, and trust it. Some call it your gut or intuition, but we’re all born with an internal compass that is designed to guide us through life. Trust that you have all you need to guide you to what you want to do.

I came out to California by myself three years ago. I had no job, no idea where I’d live, and no idea what I’d do. All I had was trust that there was a reason I felt pulled in that direction. I knew as long as I followed that internal compass I called curiosity, I’d find my way. Though the beginning was as smooth as the face of a teenager going through puberty, I eventually found all that I was looking for, and then some.

2. Acknowledge the gremlin

The “gremlin,” or the “annoying roommate,” is the voice in your head that feeds you excuses, doubt, and excessive anxiety. Some internal voices expressing concerns is valid. That being said, more often than not, it’s the gremlin trying to keep you from doing something that will require you to change and have potential discomfort. Sometimes, the gremlin comes in the form of other people too. They’ll tell you their opinions that stem from their limiting beliefs. When two gremlins get together, it turns into a party where everyone wishes they’d stayed home with their cats with a tub of ice-cream instead. Don’t join their party. Throw a better one. No gremlins allowed.

My gremlin has many voices, one of which sounds like an old chainsmoker from Long Island who has recently been saying to me: “How the hell you gunna go backpacking through Asia by yourself with a one way ticket? You on crack? You think you got balls or somethin’? You’re not cut out for that. You should buy a cat and some ice-cream, get in your sweatpants, and stay here.”

Other times the voice sounds so much like me that I mistake it for my internal compass. “It’s wise to settle down and get your life together in the States. The longer you wait, the more behind you’ll be. You’ll get anxious that you’re putting your real life on hold. Plus, you could get hurt out there.”

It takes practice to acknowledge and befriend your gremlins. The more you become aware of them, and rise above the fear, the easier it will be for you to put down the ice cream and take action.

3. Take steps

You don’t have to see what’s at the top of the stairs before you take the first step. Most people do wait, which keeps them on the same step, and unable to move forward to reach the top. You don’t have to fly up the stairs like Quicksilver. Little baby steps will do too, so long as you’re moving.

Do I know what the hell is going to happen once I get to Asia? Do I see what the outcome will be? Do I know why I hear myself saying “Go!” You know as much as I do. Still, I’m packing my bags, selling my belongings, and putting in my 30-day notice for the apartment that it hurts to leave. I don’t see the top, but I’m taking steps to see what’s there for me.

Solo traveling through foreign countries I’ve never been, without a plan or timeline, has me feeling like a cat being held above a bathtub, by a child. However, I know the less I plan, and the more I let life take me through this journey, the more I’ll expand. We grow more that way because we are forced to use our internal compass for guidance, rather than our logical brain. We step out of our comfort zone, which makes our gremlins have tantrums for an excessive amount of time that we then have to find ways to cope with. We come to realize life unfolds beautifully in retrospect, so when chaos arises, we know it will work out in the end. Taking a leap of faith comes at a cost, but growth is priceless.

This is not to say go all willy-nilly and spend your life savings gambling because your “gut” told you to. If you feel your internal compass guiding you towards something that lights you up, don’t let your gremlin shut the light off. Walk toward it with curiosity, love, and the three tips to take a leap of faith.

How To Wake Up On The Right Side Of The Bed

pexels-photo-347135 Have you ever woken up, and within five minutes of going about your day, you already feel like sucker punching everyone in the face who has the nerve to ask you a question? Just me? Great… Anyways, maybe this’ll help.

Good morning world what a beautiful view, I’m alive another day and get to spend it with you!

Before I look in the mirror and cause a potential fright, let me take a few breaths and acknowledge what feels alright.

Don’t pick up the phone and scroll through Facebook. Grab a nice cup of tea and head to the kitchen nook.

Hold the cup in your hands while you conjure love and appreciation. A lot of good will come even if only one minute of dedication.

Then play something positive that makes you happy. Perhaps affirmations, a podcast or song that’s fun and snappy.

Put on an outfit that makes you feel on cloud nine. There’s no need to worry, you’re looking mighty fine.

Go in front of the mirror and strike a power pose, feel the positive energy run from your head to your toes.

Take these vibes and go on your way. I’ve got a feeling you’ll make this a merry day.

The Best $300 I’ve Ever Spent

pexels-photo-545065 I don’t care what anyone else has to say about the matter. Having a session with Rebecca Dawson, a medium, was the best $300 I’ve ever spent. Regardless of whether or not half of it was hocus pocus, though I don’t think it was, the hour long session was worth it. No candles, chants, or crystal balls, just an awesome authentic Australian chick, who channeled like she had been doing this since she popped out of the womb.

As a result, I feel more confident with where I am and where I’m going. I feel relief. I feel clarity. I learned things about myself that I wouldn’t have been able to know otherwise. I wouldn’t have been able to get answers and clarity if I spent $300 on hair extensions and that souvenir at the Grand Canyon that I just had to have.

Yes, we all have the answers within and blah dee blah, but getting in there to find the answers can be like trying to put on spanx, blindfolded, in heels. Not that I’ve experienced that scenario, but I’ll pass if I can help it.

Although I would highly recommend what I did, I’m not putting this out there to turn people into a metaphysics freak like myself, or convince someone that this is what they need. Quite frankly I enjoy writing, so I’d be doing this regardless. However, there is always a purpose to what I do, and a hope it will inspire and help someone in some way.

The moral of this post is to use your resources to enhance your soul, not your ego. It is to not fear taking chances or spending money if it is something that excites you and will enhance your wellbeing and quality of life. I feel like there should be one more sentence to sum this all up, but this post isn’t about perfection, so I’ll leave it at that.

Wait

I’m currently waiting for a train to head back to Santa Barbara, sitting on a cement ledge as thin as my patients because some girl is letting her backpack take up the seat next to her. I’m being a little bitch and not asking if I can sit there because it looks like she’s had better days. My butt is numb, the train is delayed, and I almost let this be a negative experience. Why? Because my expectations are not meeting my reality. Because my ass has felt better before. Because I’m not being present. Because I’m letting the outside circumstances dictate my feelings.

Instead I can choose to be productive or introspective, or pace around as I look up at the sky and marvel at the planets ability to give us another day after all the BS we put it through.

What if we made every moment of waiting valuable? What if instead of pulling out a phone, we appreciated the good in our lives, or struck up a conversation with a friendly stranger?

We collectively have agreed that waiting is an unfortunate predicament rather than an unexpected present from the universe. If we looked at waiting as an opportunity for growth rather than an inconvenience, many moments of our lives would be spared. I’m going to make the most of this hour and a half delay. Hopefully the next time you have to wait, you can make the most of it too.

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How to Live Your Dream Life

photo-1504194104404-433180773017 What’s your dream? Reads the prompt on the card in my writer’s group. I considered nonchalantly sliding the card back into the deck because it was a pretty loaded question, but I stuck with it, and the results are in.

Find true love, inspire the world through my words and my voice, have a thriving business, healthy body and mind, is that too much to ask? That’s only like 5 things, right? Too bad Santa’s a joke, or maybe I’d see if he could have hooked a sister up with God’s number or something. That dude has connections.

That being said, don’t we all have those connections? The last thing I want to go into is how we all have the answers within, because I nearly gag every time I see someone preach that. However, I kinda sorta maybe know that’s the truth.

“Let Go and Let God” Well either tell me how to fucking do that, or hand me a paper bag to throw up in. I’m being dramatic. It’s important to have dreams, but it’s more important to love what is. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Appreciate the journey. Don’t curse the mountains and roadblocks in your way, but thank them for the experience and extra workout trekking over those godforsaken things. What’s the point of getting a dream, if you’ll just end up miserable that it was so annoying to get there anyways? With a mindset like that, a dream will never fulfill you. It will only intensify the emptiness that you haven’t filled with your own happiness and self love. That happiness and self love only happens in the present moment. It’s not a future dream, but a moment in time. Right here. Right Now.

Now is where your dream life lies. Are you going to live your dream life now by accepting and loving what is, or dream about it coming another day?

Why Network Marketing is Pretty Legit

photo-1539343915366-4da26f7a1f2c “Network marketing? Isn’t that one of those pyramid schemes!?” I picture those words bellowing out of the mouth of a man wearing a wannabe hipster fedora, with a few too many chins, yet I was once thinking the same thing.

Yes, some network marketing companies have a bad rep for a good reason. News flash: People and places have bad reps for a good reason too, like everything else in this world. However, some people, places, and network marketing companies, are pretty freaking awesome. I’m going to go over a few reasons why people should stop getting their panties in a bunch whenever they hear “network marketing”, and why you may actually want to consider looking into it yourself.

1: Community and Support

As humans, we all crave community. We are all looking for support, love, and connection. If you think otherwise, perhaps you’re that guy wearing a wannabe hipster fedora with a lack of discipline. Anyways, some of the most supportive and genuinely caring people I know are/were involved in network marketing. The communities created in this field of work is beyond heartwarming.

I remember someone I knew, who’s skull was thicker than my thighs after the holidays, said “They’re only your friends because they make money when you do.”

“Ummm. False you ignorant twat.” I thought to myself as I bit my lip to prevent those words from escaping the safety of my mind.

Some did, but the majority of them did not. They were just awesomely supportive and loving individuals. To this day, I am still thrilled to know so many lives are being enriched by these loving network marketing communities.

2: Growth

Regardless of whether or not you’re bathing in a claw foot tub full of diamonds and hundred dollar bills from joining a network marketing company, you will grow as a person, and continue to grow. I’ve learned so much and gained a lot of skills that I still use. Not to mention your bank account can grow significantly as well.

3: Cash Money

If you put in the work, you’ll make some serious bank. Key words: Put in the work. If a dude is adding to his collection of chins by watching Dumb and Dumber while eating McDonald’s, he’s not going to be getting any closer to having the type of money to buy an endless supply of new hats and food that didn’t come straight out of a factory farm.

4: Freedom

Woo! Love that word. Freedom to be your own boss, work where you want, make your own hours, and live your life according to you. That’s the life network marketing creates for those who truly pursue that path. I’ve seen it done first hand.

Even if you’re just the consumer, you’re supporting an entrepreneur, rather than mindlessly clicking some random links online, but that’s besides the point.

Now, is this the path for everyone? Absolutely not! There is not one path that suits everyone. However, I would hate to see someone potentially not go down this path due to fear or ignorance, when it could change their lives for the better.

For the record, I would absolutely never recommend that one should join a network marketing company that promotes laxatives or insurance if they’re not into that shit (pun intend) However, if you’re into whatever they’re about, why not take a chance to grow?

The Rush Of The Butterfly

pexels-photo-219938 Have you ever looked at a Catapillar and thought “What the hell is taking you so long you maggot looking blob with legs? Why aren’t you flying?” I don’t think so. You understand there will be a transformation, and time needs to take place. Yet, oh so often we have these unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others. We demand and assume things from us and people we know that make as much logical sense as a cocoon hatching a unicorn.

I’m so guilty of being dat bitch who is like “Law of attraction blah blah blah I can get whatever whenever if I try hard enough.” Before any fellow spiritual folks get riled up, I believe in the law of attraction and our ability to attract what we want based off of what we think and feel. However, it also can be detrimental because we don’t see the bigger picture. There is a larger party at work, and maybe a longer transformation needs to ensue to create that reality. Expecting it in a certain way and time frame can hold us in an unwanted pattern too.

I’m not writing this to be all high and mighty like I know what the fuck I’m doing. I’m that girl yelling at a freaking caterpillar that doesn’t even understand me. Deep down though, I know I need to stop trying to control this crazy simulation called life, and let the caterpillar enjoy its time on land.

Don’t Break Through Your Barriers

Have you ever felt like you’re not tapping into your intuition or your true potential? Like angels are trying to show you the way, but you’re like “Bye Felicia! I’m too busy trying to make shit happen the hard way to hear you out this time.”

Well, I’ve certainly felt that way.

Sometimes I feel as though I’m trapped in a plexiglass dome, and I’m trying to get out with a toothpick. It’s as if this invisible wall of resistance is the only obstacle that stands between me and everything that I want.

Yet maybe its making peace with that wall that will bring me what I want. Maybe that wall is meant to be there. Maybe there is a door that has yet to be discovered, only to be found once I find peace with it. Maybe, just maybe, that wall is an illusion and the more I wake up, the thinner it will get.

I can write about theories for eons, but at the end of the day, the more we try to break through the wall, rather than understand and accept why in was constructed in the first place, the less our problems will find solutions.

Our walls were built to protect us at some point in our lives, but now mine is more dated than my grandparents wallpaper. My mission is to continue to make strides each day to free myself from any limitations or limiting beliefs that hinder my peace. This wall is not to be broken. This wall is to be accepted and understood so that we learn how to be free. pexels-photo-518959-1