Cardio Sucks

I was sweating more than my ex in a lie detector seat by the time I was only 4 minutes into the HIIT class this morning. I must have said to myself “God damnit. I hate cardio.” about 100 times that hour.

Why am I putting myself through hell and back you may ask? Well, first off, it’s good for me. But if I’m being honest, I’ve gone on a couple hikes over the past few months, and to say I was embarrassed by my performance is an understatement. I looked like Gollum from Lord of the Rings had one too many drinks the night before. All the while, I was climbing up the hill next to a cute guy. Never again.

Every guy’s dating app profile reads “Swipe right if you like hiking and beer!” The thought of hiking with someone, especially a guy, gives me heart palpitations, and I don’t drink (generally). I’ve been swiping left so much that my ability to flip pages when I read has significantly increased. I’m into strength training, but if I need to turn into a cardio queen who “loves to hike and go on adventures”(#basicbitchprofile.), maybe it’ll be a good thing.

People say they love to hike because of how beautiful it is. How the hell do you appreciate the beauty when you’re blazing up a hill, breathing like a chainsmoker with asthma? I’m just hoping I can learn to enjoy it because in theory, it sounds lovely. In reality, it feels like death. Regardless of the outcome, I know that anything that’s out of my comfort zone always lead to growth and benefits me in some way… even if that growth is realizing I’m not destined to be some backpacking, flannel wearing, messy bun rocking chick.
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