I couldn’t even count the amount of times I’ve heard people talk shit about dating apps, or try to tell someone why they should meet people “organically” instead. I’m no saint, I’ve called Tinder trash multiple times. Still, I’d never tell someone not to take a chance and try it, nor should you.
I went to 10 National Parks during an epic road trip with a guy I met through Bumble. Obviously that trip wasn’t on our first meet up, but if it was, you’d have my permission to heavily judge my sanity. I connected with another person from that app while in Japan, and we’ve talked almost every day for the past several months. I’m starting a business with someone else I met on Tinder. No joke. I’m also currently looking forward to a new date I have tomorrow because he’s been playing his cards right. We even transitioned from the dating app over to WhatsApp, which for those who don’t know, that means shits about to get real. Not to mention my best friend met her boyfriend of 5 years from a dating app.
Now, I’m not saying it’s all rainbows and butterflies. I’ve been utterly underwhelmed. I have spent many hours having small talk that lead to no meetups and would have preferred hearing nails against a chalkboard over wasting my time entertaining them. I’ve also been borderline cat fished considering his pictures were not at all a representation of what he looked like. If he didn’t tell me what he was wearing and waved when he saw me, I would have just assumed he was a random, unfortunate, and unattractive human. Damn, that’s harsh, but I would have kept that to myself if I didn’t feel deceived, so that’s my excuse for sounding like a heartless bitch.
Regardless, they’ve all taught me something. It doesn’t matter if it turns into a meaningful friendship, a romantic relationship, or brief encounter. They’ve all made me more clear of the kind of man I’m looking for, and the woman I have to be to match that.
Yes, meeting people organically is great, but why not open up our options to new and exciting experiences? There are plenty of fish in the sea, so why not put more fishing nets in there? There’s nothing to lose if it’s either a good time, or lessons learned. Not to mention, those nets will reach places a fishing rod can’t, which is to say there are some people who you wouldn’t meet otherwise. Maybe one does yoga, but the other goes to a boxing studio, and they have no mutual friends, etc. Dating apps might not seem “organic” but in the world we’re living in, what really is anymore?
I’ve heard plenty of comments made about my usage of dating apps.
“You’re going on another date?!”
Yes Susan, while you’re watching The Notebook alone for the one thousandth time, sobbing into your giant carton of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, I’ll be having a new experience. Ideally free food or drinks too. If you don’t want to use an app or don’t have the time, do you boo, but don’t go around shaming people for having the courage to put themselves out there.
I’m here to tell you that you deserve to make connections to help you grow and have fun. I’m not saying a dating app is the only way for that to happen, but it is one way. That one way shouldn’t make you feel shameful or less than in any way. If anything, I feel like a badass boss babe for showing up and making moves to have new adventures and connections.
If someone wants to use a dating app, let them do their thing without your two cents saying another way is the “right way”. If you’ve been wanting to use one but need that extra nudge to get the ball rolling, take this as a sign and enjoy the ride! The journey that is… not the kind of ride often associated with Tinder meetups. I’ll shut up now.