Reactions to the title of this post most likely fall into two categories. Either “Yasss, Queen, let us know who you’ve become!” Or “Girl, you’ve only been out there three weeks. The only thing you’ve probably become is a little more tan.” The latter isn’t completely wrong considering I’m veering away from looking like the sister of Casper the Friendly Ghost, but more than my exterior has changed.
When I’m alone in a foreign place, the familiarity of the world I once knew dissipates. People don’t look the same, there are tastes and smells I never knew existed, and my surroundings have me in awe which makes my curiosity and awareness reach new heights. There’s no one or nothing that’s influencing me on who I should be, or how I should present myself to the world. There’s something unexplainable about the freedom that comes with putting yourself in unfamiliar and sometimes uncomfortable situations. It’s almost like pressing a restart button on your life.
So what does this mean for me? The walls I built that created the life I knew have been knocked down, so I can be the most authentic expression of myself. The minimal filter I once had no longer exists. I spit words like rapid fire without hesitation that’s caused by doubt or fear of judgment. The people I talk to are left in stitches and I don’t even have to try. I’m witty, silly, loud, and proud. I’m afraid of the unknown yet I choose to live my life there. I’m brave. I’m a little extra, but I love it, and if you don’t, that’s too bad because you’re missing out on a great thing. I’m not saying I’m perfect nor do I want to be.
Who I’ve become is unapologetically me.