Going After What You Want Doesn’t Make You Happy

I can Imagine so many internet trolls reading that title and getting their panties in a bunch before they read any further. I can understand why it would be an easy argument to claim that going after what you want will make you happy, but I’ll prove you otherwise.

Was I happy trying to score a man by swiping left and right on dating apps to the point my finger cramped up? (I’m being extra, but you get the point.) No, what it did was leave me feeling disappointed that the young Leonardo Decapprio looking dopplegänger was as stimulating as watching paint dry.

Was I happy going after my ideal body, having an eating disorder, and going to the gym 12-14 times a week? Well, I did love my gym classes, but the answer is still no. I wasn’t happy. I was never good enough, and consistently had significantly more anxiety than a Californian yogi after realizing they accidently ate something with gluten and meat in it.

Was I happy going after money, recognition, acceptance, relationships, or anything else I wanted? The answer is NO. It’s doing what you love, not going after what you want, that brings true happiness. 

We often try to go after some ideal of a body, romance, financial status or recognition, rather than making sure we are enjoying the process and journey of connecting with others, and deepening our connection and understanding of ourselves. 

Going after money won’t make you happy, following your passions and what brings you joy will.

Going after a lover won’t make you happy, appreciating connections with others and yourself will. 

Going after an ideal created by societies standards won’t bring you happiness. Engaging in activities and enjoying things that nourish you will.

Don’t go after what you want, do something you love. Today.